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A cat language translation device?  For just $167?  I’ll have 3!

This is possibly one of the daftest ideas we at Accutranslate have ever seen!  The way it works is that you point the device at the creature, then it reads the cat’s expression, or translates 200 words of “cat chat”. Those who have both money to burn and a keen eye for colour will be delighted to learn that this useful device is available in black, white and pink. For $167, I’d like mine gold-plated!

Just one question – how will you know if the thing is translating accurately, or not? Unlike a professional translation from a language that actually exists, which you can check out with a native speaker, this gadget has no way of checking. Perhaps it will translate correctly, and more likely it won’t – how will you know? Amusingly, the machine comes with instructions only in Japanese, so unless you are fluent in Japanese you’d probably have to get them translated before you could even start.

Anyway, apart from “feed me”, “let me in/ out” and “sit down so I can jump on your lap” what else do you need to translate from cat language? The mind boggles at there being as many as 200 “cat chat” words.

We suggest you save your $167 for more worthwhile purchases (suggestions, please!), and that if you do need any translations doing (from any human language, but not from cats!), contact Accutranslate and we’ll sort you out a proper, accurate, checkable translation.